I had an idea… but I had an idea more than a year ago. This idea, which was conceived by my partner and I, consisted of a series of changes that -allegedly- would bring more happiness and satisfaction to our lives. We would move to Denmark… or we would move to another country… but we would leave Spain and go somewhere where we could be something, or at least something “more” than we were/are here in Spain.
At some point between the decision and the actual realization, both my partner and I got new job offers and had to consider what to do next. It’s funny because I remember my own mind trying to convince itself: let’s stay here, let’s try this new opportunity, let’s see what happens, this is so good for you and for your career… C’mon! Forget about Denmark and try this out! And yet again, I have gone with my brains and not my guts. And yet again, I have been so, so wrong.
The need to lie to ourselves is born when a conflict of interests appears. Something doesn’t quite work, and your body is literally screaming out loud (in its own way, of course). Your mind thinks it’s a face, or an idea likely to be discarded, and doesn’t accept the challenge that your body is presenting you with. Your body aches for change, whereas your mind finds excuses not to move. And here starts the eternal dance between what we really want or need, and what we eventually do. We constantly lie to ourselves to justify an inner fear that serves for nothing. We fear new, we fear change, we fear unknown. We fear everything beyond our understanding, and so, our minds respond gentlemanly. They shut fear behind the aspect of a lie, and then they tell us those lies and try to convince us of their existence.
As many people have said to me before, we shouldn’t always listen to what our minds have to say. They’re an instrument, and a very powerful one, but they don’t always serve us well. Sometimes our minds don’t let us move forward. Sometimes our minds create the actual barriers against with we crash once and again. And that’s what’s my mind is doing at this moment of life. My body is definitely saying one thing. It is desperately trying to get the right attention and warn me that the way I’m currently leading my life is not the way that’s going to make me happy. This will lead me nowhere. In the meantime, my mind is creating excuses not to set a course of action. It is only eluding me. It is making my decision-making process even more difficult than it should really be.
Lying to ourselves may save us pain or fear, but lying to ourselves will get us nowhere in life. If only we’re brave enough, we’ll hear what our bodies have to say and only then will we realize that -maybe- what we want is literally in front of our eyes and we only need to give a couple of steps forward to get there.
My advice? Go with your gut… Yep… go with your gut…